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bathroom for the next 8 months

so if Nicki wasn’t talking about Eiffel what tower was she talking about

Nicki Minaj ‘Starships’ favorite look


my biggest fear in life is when you’re just minding your business and someone’s ball stops right in front of you and the people are like hey mind throwing it here. the pressure is too much for me. i don’t know how to aim a ball and like sometimes you have to deal with frisbees it’s the worst thing in the word like don’t fight me on this I am right


Alright so one time when I was 14 I had to go to the doctor for a check up and I had just started going through puberty so I was all hormonally out of control and got boners all the time and the doctor had to check out my package to make sure puberty was doing its thing and he told me to unzip my pants and I was really nervous and I got a boner and when me pulled my underwear down it got caught on my dick and my boner slapped him in the chin


can’t wait for the generation of grandmas with winged eyeliner


i guess i recorded an ice bucket challenge today after i got my wisdom teeth out ??


date ideas

  • garlic bread


cute girl on the street: hey do you have the time?

me: sure do! 8:15

cute girl on the street: thanks 

me: so what are we?